Angry that it goes on and furious that people can be so cruel; I never understood it, even as a child.
Unfortunately for my mother, I was often the child in the middle of scenarios trying to protect the other children or "victim".
To this day I always rally for the underdog and take it personally; trying to protect those who cannot or will not protect themselves.
Bullying just doesn't make sense to me.
Recently in my line of work I came across a child who is bullied mercilessly. And I just could not fathom why. She is a sweet girl, plays in sports and does gymnastics. She is beautiful. Why would children in elementary school want to make her life a living hell? What is there to gain? And in Elementary School; Really??
This bothered me so much I wanted to look into why this happens, and what we as adults, professionals, friends or mentors can do about this.
In doing some research on bullying I found some really disturbing facts...
Firstly, bullying doesn't go away and with time it seems to get worse, for both the bully and the victim.
Yet we all at one point or another tell our children to ignore them and it will go away.
Bullying can cause physical harm, reduce our children's self-esteem and self worth and isolate them, making them feel alone.
Because of the Internet and cell phones our children can be bullied anywhere: school, home or in the community. Furthermore, bullying doesn't end in the situation. Our children carry the event and the effects of the event in their minds and hearts, everywhere they go. They get no break from the torment. This can cause depression, anxiety, loss of self-esteem and sometimes, increased levels of aggressive behaviour. Additional effects of bullying on victimized children may include headaches, stomach aches, school absenteeism, and can lead to suicide.
Bullies: Bullying behaviour, as with other forms of violent behaviour, continues outside of the school environment and sometimes throughout their life unless something is done. Left unchecked, a five-year-old who displays bullying behaviours will likely exhibit similar behaviours later in life. Research shows that children who bully may turn into adolescents who sexually harass, become involved in delinquent behaviours, gang-related activities, or engage in dating violence. And if this isn't scary enough a U.S. study found that bullies are seven times more likely than other students to carry weapons to school and found that children who bullied in Grades 6-9 are six times more likely to have a criminal record by the age of 24. As adults, children who bully may display harassment in the workplace or may commit spousal, child, or senior abuse.
Children who continue to bully can later suffer psychological problems such as externalizing problems (conduct disorders), aggressive tendencies, and occasionally depressive symptoms.
Is this the type of life we want for our children? Is this what their future should hold?
Furthermore a recent Canadian survey of teachers and students, most teachers (75%) reported they usually tried to stop a bullying incident but only 25% of the students agreed.Students felt this was because teachers were either not around when the incident occurred, didn't feel the incident was bullying, or chose not to get involved for other reasons.
Our children are crying out for help.And only 25% of us do anything. Are you joking?
Bullying has to stop. And we all need to do something. Whether your child is the bully or the victim, as they grow they will encounter both in the future. And the outlook as a bully or a victim are both unhealthy.
Get up, and say no to bullying, speak up for your children, friends and family.
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